Filed under: Action | Tags: Commitment, personal growth, stephen mcghee, Vulnerability
The words in the e-mail rang out to me. “I have discovered the secret to life.” The author of these words was a kid. I felt compelled to meet with him to hear what his secret was. I’m glad I did. I soon learned to love and respect this young man for he possesses a greater depth and wisdom than some of us will ever experience.
He was an alcoholic for much of his youth and was stuffing his pain with anything that would numb his body and mind. His life was in a downward spiral. His girl friend had left him and he was mostly estranged from his family. He spent most of his time alone and got fired from a job that he truly loved. He got tired of being drunk and lonely. He took an action that would change his life forever. Change always starts with some kind of action.
I think the movie The Secret was misleading in this way. It led some people to believe that manifestation can be as simple as sitting on our couches and just focusing on changing. It rarely works that way. You must do something. In this case, the action was to pick up a book. Some people laugh at the concept that a book can change lives. Anything can be a catalyst for change in the right situation. This book changed the course of his life. (Read below for title of this book.)
Inspired by what he read, he stopped whining about how things were. He got busy living. He became my friend – and then I became his coach. There have been times he has wanted to quit the coaching. Change is rarely comfortable. I have seen more than a few people quit. It’s easier to quit. The ego loves to quit for it can sense when the heart is ready to open. The ego despises an open heart.
How many of us have wanted to quit? I have quit many times in my life. I have quit on all levels. I have quit physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have learned one thing from quitting. It does not serve me, except to teach me that quitting does not work.
The kind of quitting I am talking about is cheating on your Self. That’s the easy way out… yet we live in a world that condones it. I just saw a commercial about a cooking machine that can turbo cook your food. Maybe that works, and I wonder what a machine like that does to food on a molecular level. Many of us want to turbo charge change in our lives and business. It rarely works that way, at least for the most part.
The process of transformation requires patience. What would happen in your life if you fell in love with being persistent? What if being a life leader involves an honest assessment of your life?
That’s what my profound friend realized the other day. His eyes were lit up, even though his hat was pulled down low and tight. So, I said to him, “What’s the secret of life?” He replied… “The secret to life is facing your fears head on.” He went on to explain that in his past he had avoided what he was afraid of. That’s where the drugs and alcohol came from. “It had to do with avoiding my fears”, he said. He went on. “Yes, I have learned that by facing my fears and not quitting on my self I can have whatever I want in my life.”
I agreed with him, realizing he didn’t need my agreement or anyone else’s. He knew it was true. By the way, my friend/client has his girlfriend back, his dream job, is in great physical shape, and spends a lot of time with his immediate family. Things do change, when one faces his fears.
My council today is to look into your life and ask a few questions of yourself. Where am I quitting on myself? How can I be patient with my life changes? AND….What fear do I have that I am ready to face?
These questions will catapult you into a way of being that can produce miraculous experiences and results. This is one secret that truly works!
Please let me know your stories of how you have persisted in your life leadership?
P.S. The book that the kid read is called Reinventing Yourself by Steve Chandler www.SteveChandler.com
P.S.S. If you really want to dive deeper into the secret of life and learn how to face your fears head on – join Steve Chandler’s www.ClubFearless.net.
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The Get Real Blog 
Stephen, if there was ever a person that knows how to face their fears, it is you. Your words are powerful and spot on. Your client is lucky to have your magnificent coaching. Thank you for your powerful words about Club Fearless….it is also changing lives as you read this. Be blessed-BTC
Comment by Brandon Craig April 21, 2009 @ 9:17 am