I failed today. I did not meet my objective. I guess I could wax on about all the “reasons” I did not make my goal. That is definitely an option. Or I can learn from my own transgressions. I can focus my attention towards using my “failure” as a growth tool. Most people beat themselves up when they fail. In fact, lots of people I know get caught up in the language of it. They soften the blow by not using the word failure. I have never understood that. I either made my goal or I did not. I either won or I lost. And I either succeeded or I failed.
Personally, I like feeling the heat of failure in my very Soul. I don’t want off the hook. I don’t want my friends to appease me and see me as unable to handle my weaknesses. I want to experience that feeling in the core of my belly. I want to feel through my own demise until I come out the other side laughing like a clown. I can tell you that many of us want to avoid the conversation of “not making things happen”. Lots of leaders begin with reasons WHY something did not work. Suddenly, the whole conversation becomes a highway of rationalizations and excuses. I’m going to be SUPER clear with you about this topic. People don’t generally care WHY you did not meet your objectives. And I encourage you today to make a shift in the roads you travel from this day forward. If you traffic in rationalizations, you will eventually get pulled over on the road of life and held at the court until you pay your ticket.
Here is what I recommend. Refrain from judging yourself as a failure. Get present with “the failure” and feel it. Feel it, for only one reason…so that you can learn from it. From my greatest failures, I have learned my greatest lessons. I know I have learned something when I don’t repeat the same behavior over and over. Also, I recommend not spending much/if any time telling people the long boring story about why you are late on your payment, or your meeting, or the project. It matters not. What matters is…How can I restore my integrity today? I can restore my integrity when I can own that I did not complete the goal. I can say: I did not complete my objective and I am committed to learning the following points to ensure success on the next situation. When I fail at something, I spend time looking at the whole of the situation and how I can use all of what I learned for my learning. Can you hear that?
Think about it. The key to success is found in failing. I am not suggesting you study failure and I am recommending that each of us pause into the reflection of our misgivings. I find there is a powerful tempering in this approach that sets us up for a more consistent victory in our Selves and in our businesses. What do you think? Have you learned from tough times? Are you doing it with Grace? What is your greatest learning from your latest challenge? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Best and beyond.
Stephen
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The Get Real Blog 
I really like this week’s subject about failure. I can relate to it. I talked to one person this week that said he did not hear my passion about my business when others (many others) say not only to they hear it, they can feel it when we talk face to face. I guess that was one man’s opinion.
Comment by Stella Du Pont August 27, 2010 @ 7:07 amIt seems this post has lots of us “feeling” into failure. What the heck is a failure anyway and how can I do anything until I do some kind of “failure”. I know lots of people that call it “challenges” and thats ok too. I dont have an answer for anyone except me and I feel that I learn best when I can really accept the impact of things without BIG JUDGEMENT. I dont want to judge myself because then I cant see the solutions. I have seen many people go deeper into a failure mode because they cant pull out of the spin downward. I want to stop, get impact, forgive and move to a solution. Thanks for your posts and your comments. Peace Out for now.
Stephen McGhee
Comment by Stephen August 27, 2010 @ 7:41 amvery powerful article, failures if rationalised and judged will become a habit, the truth of failures does not come out or accepted , learning through experience will make us achieve ,instead of defending ,that’s integrity towards yourself,
Comment by ashok narayan August 27, 2010 @ 7:43 amthank u stephen for this enlightened article
ashok
Great job, you failure!!!!
Comment by Patrick Harrington August 27, 2010 @ 10:16 amSending you love and a big hug.
Patrick
As always, you shed light on a subject that comes in perfect time. I am going through a time where I have been brought opportunites for real growth, forcing into the forefront of my mind the past errors of my ways, and the failures that have accompanied these errors. I am clearing out a lot of old, negative energy that no longer serves me. Your article really helped me reframe and get centered in the lessons that are leading me to a time where I am free to create the life I so desire, without all the judgmental obstacles I have placed on my path over the years. Thank you Stephen, as always for being real, and in turn, enlightening me and reminding me I am not alone. ~Nanette~
Comment by Nanette Cheval August 29, 2010 @ 9:28 amLife changes
Failure As A Reality | The Get Real Blog
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